Cy De Silva talks ‘The Real Housewives’ and her new podcast
Illustration: By The Cut; Photo: Allie Provest
Even though she is a star The Real Housewives of New York City, Cy De Silva doesn’t consider herself your traditional housewife: she’s also a content creator and mother of two who recently ventured into the world of podcasting. De Silva discusses the ever-evolving dynamics of female friendships Harder than we thoughtco-hosted her own podcast with her best friend Angela Rogers, which premiered shortly after the new Ronnie Rerun on Bravo. “I always thought I would have the same friends forever, but life doesn’t work that way, and the older I get, the harder it is to make time for everyone,” De Silva says. “Especially when you’re married, you have kids, all of a sudden you’re a wife, and now on top of that, I have all my friends that I want to spend time with.”
She may be a chronic packer (“I pack according to my mood…I’m here to serve,” she recently told Andy Cohen on Watch what’s happening live), and she withdrew Goodbye Irish after one of her co-stars didn’t get enough to eat at an event, but the Los Angeles-born, New York-raised creator stands for everything the latter city stands for: grit, style, and a no-nonsense attitude. “When you’re honest, what can people say?” she asks. “Because if you’re lying and you get caught, then what?”
It’s called your podcast Harder than we thought. What’s something you’ve done that turned out to be harder than you thought?
Impact – Let’s use it as a verb. I started a blog in 2014. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know you could make money from it. It was literally just a creative outlet for me and a way to share clothes. From there, I learned how to code, and I learned photography. Years later, I turned into a small business, and I had to negotiate my own deals. And now I have payroll. I used to pay people via Cash App, Venmo, and PayPal. But now, you have to pay your taxes. You have to put everyone on the payroll, and everyone over 26 wants insurance. There were a lot of things that went into this, and I was like, “This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be,” but I figured it out.
How do you choose the topics you discuss in your program?
It has to be things that my co-host and I are passionate about, and things that my community wants to hear about. Life in your late 30s and 40s. Interracial dating. What does that look like to you? How do you deal with those things? Dating in your 40s. Your friends are married and have children, but you are experiencing stagnation in your personal life. Having a career change later in life and what it’s like starting over. In vitro sterility journeys.
What is your #1 rule for a successful dinner party?
Have drinks. I mean, you have to have drinks. Most people like to drink, and if they don’t like to drink, at least have mocktails. You need to accommodate everyone.
I’ve been a bartender for eight years. What’s your first rule for crafting the perfect cocktail?
You know what, I wasn’t really into making all the delicious drinks. Like, I’ll give you a dirty martini or a margarita – that’s what you get. So, just ask everyone what they like to drink.
what is your favorite drink?
Dirty martini with three olives.
Is there such a thing as too much posting on social media?
i don’t think so. If you’re posting 20 times a day, it’s going to get a little obnoxious, yeah. But within reason. If you’re posting four times a day, that’s no big deal. There’s a lot of content out there. People tend to consume content a little differently than in the past.
What are some of your tried-and-true rules for showing up in photos?
No hand on hip with cheese. Those are baby boom situations. Do you know what I should get rid of? This is a very millennial thing, it’s (He throws a peace sign and curls his lips) A kissy face and a peace sign, and it’s a very millennial “Hey, we started the Internet, guys, just so you know” kind of pose.
Do you have a fashion rule that you never break?
Hmmm… I’m always breaking the rules. But I don’t get confused by loud labels. I don’t really mix labels if they are logos. If it’s on the sign and no one can see it, that’s perfectly fine. But if you wear F all over your body and then a Balenciaga bag, that’s a little fashion mistake.
On the other side of things, what’s a trend you’d never get involved in?
Let’s ditch the butt jeans of the past. I don’t know if you remember Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton wearing these Frankie B low waist jeans. Let’s never do that again. Plumber’s crack is not nice. We should never have that again.
Will you be sending an edible arrangement?
This thing doesn’t belong to me. I think they are very outdated. (He laughs) I remember having them years ago, but I always tend to get the ones that are rotten fruit on the inside, and it kind of put me off. I’d rather you just give me flowers.
What’s your number one rule for splitting the bill with friends?
Don’t count anything. Don’t get out your calculator and calculate what you have on your list. We’ll split it equally, or don’t come to dinner. There’s nothing worse for me than someone saying, “No, I only had one glass of wine, and I only ordered a side of beans.” Do not do it. Let’s just divide it evenly.
What if I didn’t drink at all and everyone ordered a bunch of drinks. Does this change anything?
I believe? I guess it is, but… I don’t really care. You’re out for the atmosphere. (He laughs) Pay for the atmosphere.
What’s your first rule while walking the streets of New York City?
Don’t be on your phone…I’m guilty. (He laughs.)
I know you have a no shoes policy in the house, but I feel like that’s a pretty standard rule. So what’s more controversial Do you have a rule in your home?
Don’t sit on my bed in your day clothes. I’m not interested in that at all. Don’t come into my bedroom and sit on my bed in your everyday clothes. I’ve been on the train, I’ve been in an Uber, it’s really bad.
What is your first rule for raising a child?
Open communication. They’re human too. They have opinions. They have feelings. Communicate openly and very calmly.
What’s your best rule for dealing with people at parties?
Sometimes this is difficult. Ask someone else about themselves instead of just talking about yourself.
Do you have any questions for the little chat?
“Where are you from?” I can always tell if someone didn’t grow up in New York City. I don’t ask people what they do for a living. I don’t think it’s really any of my business unless you want to tell me. For some reason, people like to say, “So, what do you do for a living?” I find it very strange… What neighborhood do you live in? Are you a Brooklyn person? Are you a city person? And if you don’t live in Brooklyn, have you been to Brooklyn? Little gossip questions like that.
What is the first rule for dealing with drama?
I don’t subscribe to it.
Suppose there is no way out of it. How do you act?
This might lead to someone cursing, so I do my best not to participate in it. Because then I’d end up getting upset about it, and I’d go to someone.
How do you leave parties?
Goodbye Irish. I usually – but not always – Try To say goodbye to everyone before I leave.
I pulled an Irish Goodbye on a recent episode.
It was a very packed house. I didn’t think anyone would notice I was leaving, so I left.
What will be on your cheese board?
Drunken goat; Love this cheese. it is delicious. We need walnuts. We need honey. We need some kind of jam. Strawberries, apples, dried apricots. I love dried apricots, cheese and some wine. Always a good vibe. We need some kind of delicious cookie, preferably with a little sea salt on top, so you get a little salty, sweet, all of the above. And that’s all there is to it. Maybe some big ones green Pitted olives. Make sure there are no holes there. I don’t want anyone to complain about that.
Are there any other etiquette tips you’d like to share?
Let’s make bringing toilet paper into people’s homes normal. (He laughs.) If you have a preference, that’s okay. Bring your little layers in your bag, that’s totally fine.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.